Call me old-fashioned… but I’m going to JUDGE you.

If you would be so kind as to read this and allow me to bounce some ideas off of you, we might be able to grow together... please see the note at the bottom regarding comments.

Thanks ♥

Everywhere I look on MySpace, I see placards and graphics like these:

Even my personal favorite –

They all have the same message: "Don't Judge Me". What a sweet idea...

What I want to know is; why not? What makes you so sugar-special?

In this case:

Judge – verb:

To form a judgment or opinion of; decide upon critically: You can't judge a book by its cover.

Everyone judges others on some level. I am comfortable with my experiences in going as far as to say that there is no one who can say that in the first 10 seconds of meeting someone that they are not passing some form of judgment. It is ingrained in the human response to do so. Hear (er.. read) me out...

Be My Guinea? Pretty please? ^_~:

Do a random internet image search for "WOMAN" and look at the first picture of one that you see for at least 5 seconds…

........

No really. Do it...

What do you think of her?

Nice hair?

Eyes?

Lips?

Does she seem friendly?

Congratulations, you've just passed judgment on appearance. Do you think you would have done that without my prompting? C'mon… you know you would.

Now what if I tell you that the same image of the woman you were looking at has recently been arrested for possession of illegal substance and is under suspicion for child neglect?

Did you feel that? That brain flip that your mind just did? Maybe a little twist in your stomach? What is that?

Now why do you think that anyone would feel that it was "wrong" for you to pass judgment on her for her own choices?

The answer?

Because those same people don't want to be held accountable for their own actions that could possibly be viewed by society as taboo and for which they would face consequence.

Pretty damn steep, eh?

CAUTION: Big words a'comin'…..

I have a theory that includes the idea that many of the negative social issues the American civilization is currently experiencing are due to the fact that a mentality of "Don't Judge Me (or Others)" is being placed upon an altar. In previous generations, there was social consequence for immoral behavior. (I am leaving religion out of this one people.) There were standards set on what was right and wrong, ingrained by the generations before them, and the areas have become more and more "grey" on where those lines are drawn.

In my opinion, the more liberal shades of grey began, unsurprisingly, about the same time both parents began working outside the home and placing children into the care of others.

*Inject "Greatest Love of All" lyrics HERE.

Now, here I need to clarify, I am not bashing on daycare at all. My previous career was that of a care-giver; both as a nanny and as a certified provider of in home care for developmentally disabled.

What I have a problem with is when the children of working parents are placing their children secondary due to longer working hours and the ideas of "placing themselves first". This would be the aspect of immorality and an instilled idea of "I matter most".

(Immoral [Selfish] vs. Moral [Unselfish} definition is a topic that has more than enough content to fill up another blog or 20.)

In essence; while the idea of "Don't Judge Me" might sound liberating at first, by removing the act of judgment by peers you remove the consequence of shame.

It's not the judgment that so many fear – it's the persecution by peers. Which may just be warranted, and if it's not then what should it matter to ones self. As long you are leading the life that is beneficial to society and in effect "moral", most likely the opinions you are having stated against you are the result of an opposing ideal of what that should be.

There is a simple way to prevent persecution and know which "side" you are on. Simply ask yourself who is benefitting from your actions; and if any may be harmed. There is a balance – even in grey areas.

A society, in which its people have no shame nor fear of judgment, leaves phenomenal potential for chaos. Turning a blind eye to the immoral doesn't necessarily even out to "live and let live". Instead, it leaves enormous opportunity for the decline of a civilization.

Not to sound like a doomsayer, but it's not coming. It's happening right now.

Instead of the concept of "Don't Judge Me", I have learned to accept that I cannot control the will of others. People will always judge and be judged. Instead, perhaps we should all begin to turn our minds to the thought of making our own choices based on what's best for the whole, not just the self, and live our lives in such a way that we no longer fear that judgment.

*Authors note: This is not written to offend or condemn anyone. These are simply my (most likely unoriginal) ideas and opinions and I am curious to hear the opinions of other readers/bloggers on the subjects addressed regardless of their objection or agreement. As long as we remain mature and civil in conversation all comments will be allowed. Comment interject as necessary, but as always, if you're rude or offensive to anyone, you get the boot and will be deleted.