La La La La

I miss Duane. A lot. Not just because I am tired of doing laundry, paying the bills, cleaning the house, raising our daughter, and doing dishes all by myself, but I miss him and his companionship. I haven't laughed nearly as much since he left.

I am busy, very busy. It seems like I gogogo from the time I wake up (which is too early) to the time I go to bed (which is too late). I am still not sleeping well. I can't sleep if Aidynn is awake. I feel like I have to attend to her if she needs me so I need to be awake. Supermom - dun dada dun! So, if she wakes up at 4 in the morning, I stay awake until she goes back to sleep. Then, I have been awake for so long that I can't go back to sleep because my brain has started thinking about all of the things that need to be done. Then I get up and get ready to do them all.

Being an "acting" single mom is a hard job. No wonder most military wives with kids don't work. Add in a full time job and all of the household junk and all of a sudden the world is spinning and all you want is for it to slow down. When I do finally just say, "It can wait, I need to relax." I am so tired that I zone out. Last night I watched American Idol, and I was zombiefied, and it had nothing to do with the show... Ok, maybe a little bit to do with the show. It was terrible.

I couldn't have it any other way though. I'm not the type of person who can stay home sitting around eating, reading, and watching television as my life passes me by. I have to interact with people. As anti-social as I am, I have to be productive.

There is so much going on from day to day that it's almost as if I need a filter. I try to do everything, fix everything, be everything. It's just the way I am.

You know what's funny... I don't even remember where I was going with this blog.
But the cheerios on the floor make me wish Chasey was still here.

I'm going to go pick up Cheerios.... and then write a letter to my husband if I can get off the floor.