Blessings

My friend Lesa came over yesterday to visit Aidynn and I. It was so nice to have some company (aside from Aidynn of course) and that she was able to stay for quite a while too. I am so greatful that she will be coming to live with Aidynn and I while Duane is gone. Just having someone else around makes me feel... safer. She is great with Aidynn, and Aidynn just adores her. She is such a blessing to us.

While we were talking, I got to thinking (again) about everything that Duane does/did for Aidynn and I, and how much of that I am now having to do by myself. Lesa knows all of this, as she has seen it, and I constantly rave about how much I love and appreciate my husband (you think?). I can't help it! He is truly amazing! He did all of the cooking and most of the cleaning - laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, everything. He took care of Aidynn most of the time - nearly every bottle, every diaper, every early morning, he took care of her. Running errands, I think, is where I miss his help the most. My daughter + her car seat weigh at least 25lbs. Carrying that up and down stairs and loading it into and out of the car gets exhausting (especially when pregnant). Add bags of groceries and a diaper bag to that and you have a full workout of weights and cardio whether you want it or not. I think once so far I have had to reinforce to myself that it's not ok to just leave everything in the car but the baby. I never had to worry about any of that when he was here. Without ever having to ask him, he carried her and the groceries/shopping bags. He got her into and out of the car.

I always make sure that I thank him for everything that he does for me. I let him know daily how much I appreciate him - even now it's in the form of a letter. I've written 2 and don't even have his address yet as he is still in receiving. I know what it is like to be taken advantage of in a relationship, and so does he. It has never happened with us. We don't have "ups and downs" days.

A man that cooks and cleans, takes care of the baby, always runs out and to get anything you are craving (pregnant or not!), goes shopping with you if you ask him and provides honest opinions, randomly surprises you with flowers or your favorite sweets, and then still has the motivation and desire to cuddle and have real conversations, and even offer to massage your feet after a long day!? Ask most women and they would say that THAT man doesn't exist. I am so lucky to have him - and not only does he do all of these things daily, but he loves me! Some might think, "There must be some area that is lacking." All I can say is that we are having 2 children only 14 months apart. Trust me. There is no lacking.

I get upset now and again that he is gone. It has been almost a week, and it has gotten a bit easier. The first 3 days I was a complete wreck only able to hold it together in front of my daughter. I know he isn't gone forever, but after being inseparable for almost 2 years, I feel like half of ME is missing. I can't wait until he comes home!

I am debating whether or not to go to Redding today... I really don't want to miss a phone call from Duane and it's a 2 1/2 hour drive by myself... but I could use a good dose of hugs from my Des, a Dutch Brothers Milky Way (CRAVE!), some of Gramma's home cooked dinners, some laughs from my brothers, and catching up with a few friends (and their babies) that visiting with has been pushed off for far too long.