A Righteous Bitch!

This morning as Duane and I were driving me to work, we had a very amusing conversation that skated alongside topics such as religion, morality, my intolerance for stupidity, and self-righteousness. The conversation went something like this:

D & K: *chatter chatter banter banter*
K: I don't think I am a self-righteous person. I just know that a lot of the time people make poor choices that I wouldn't necessarily make for myself. Do you think I'm self righteous?
D: Well, yeah, but in a good way.
K: Huh. I don't think I am.... righteous, yes, but not self-righteous..... a lot of the time stupid people would be better off if they just stopped and asked themselves, "What would Kristi do?" *laughs*
D: *laugh* Oh yeah? Like a religion?
K: Oooh good idea, I should start a cult! Of course, it would have Christian based principles.... except for the "Thou shalt not take my name in vain thing" because I say Jesus Fuck and God Dammit way too much.
D: *laughs* We could call it "Kristi"anity
K: *laughs* Ooooh I like it! It's catchy.

Of course this conversation got me thinking. Like I do....

Am I a self-righteous person? Where is the line drawn between being virtuous and being self-righteous? Is there a line that can be drawn?

I know that I am a perfectionist, and I have a certain way that I like things to be in my life, and I have concrete beliefs. I believe in "right" (ie charity, loyalty, selfless actions, kindness, honesty, etc) and "wrong" (ie lying, cheating, stealing, cruelty, selfishness, etc) - basically Christian principles, even though I am not a Christian myself - and that people should be held accountable for their own actions and choices. I believe that everyone should aspire to be a "good" person. Some would say that I have exceptionally high standards that I expect of myself and others - especially those that I love. I hold onto mistakes made by myself and those that I am close to for a VERY long time. I forgive, but I do not forget. Do I consider it to be my place to enforce consequense or pass judgement on those who oppose my ideals, standards, or morals? Nope. Unless it effects me or someone that I care about in some way, I don't care what others think/say/do. My spiritual beliefs dictate that they will build their own karma. I do have a certain uncanny ability to judge character quickly and so far, in my entire life, have never been wrong in my perceptions.

Everyone passes judgement at one point or another on a person, issue, or an action. One's perceptions take precedence. Anyone who says they have never judged by these standards is a liar. (How's that for judgement?)

I try not to be a complicated person. When asked my opinion I can generally give an answer and a justification for what I believe. "Because I do" is not an acceptable answer to me. I have a low tolerance for quite a few things, but some issues irritate me more than others. In matters of friendship, generally I choose to not continue relationships that are have more cost than benefit. Relationships take work, I know, but if all they become is stress and effort what is the point in maintaning that balance? To me, there isn't one, and I will cut my losses. Harsh? Some people would think so.

Some of the identifiers of the self-righteous would be:
A "Holier-than-thou" attitude
Anger and bitterness
Unreasonable and "Closed-minded"
False Accusers (Liars)
Religious Supremacist
Jealousy
Manipulation
Intimidation
Gossip
Malice

Now I DO know myself well enough to know that I am none of those things continually. I will admit that at one point or another I have displayed some of those characteristics (not my finest moments) but we all make mistakes. Realistically, I know that I am better at some things than others mentally, physically, and spiritually. I also know that in some aspects there are going to be those who are better than I am at these things. That's just the way the world works. I'm ok with that. I know who I am and I love that person. I am constantly changing and trying to further myself, and I know what matters to me. I think that along with that comes a certain indignation that some people may not understand.

I spoke with Duane more about this at lunch. It's so nice to have someone to bounce ideas of of.

There are so many different aspects to examine in this. Since it is more of a philosophical arguement, and has no absolute answer because of ever-changing variables in my personality, I guess I won't come to any concrete conclusions.

I'm more than open to your opinions though. Which, if I were a self-righteous person, I suppose wouldn't be huh?


I found this, and even though it still hasn't concluded in anything (or convinced me to lean either way... would that be arguement on behalf?? LOL! Oh dear!) I still find it to be a FASCINATING read. I am surprised it is a textbook!

Psychotherapy and the Self-Righteous Patient