2 x 365

May 2002

Sometime around noon I'm sitting on the couch - avoiding my husband as usual - at my friend Tara's house when her neighbor, Jim, knocked on the door and let himself in.

"Whoa.. it's smoky in here! What have YOU guys been doing? *dorky laugh*"

To which I replied, "Uhm, surprise! We've been smoking Jim." I crossed my eyes at him.

I don't like Jim. He has the manners of a chimp and quite frankly the smell of one as well. Tara is a helluva lot nicer than I am to tolerate him. Tara is a helluva lot nicer than I am period.

I sink back into the television for a few moments and come back around when I hear Tara talking to Jim.... "We can't. We're about to leave. Uhm... We're going out for dessert."

"Whaaaaa?! Hells yes!" I jump up and get my flops.

Jim asks to tag along.

"Sure. But we're going to Shingletown after that to ride the coaster. Your ass weighs us down. We'll have to go FASTER!" I add laughing.

Jim changes his mind. "You guys are crazy."

Tara and I get in the car as Jim leaves and I laugh and ask her where we're really going.

"How about dessert and the coaster??"

"Really? Sounds good to me!"

The only good things about the buffet restaurant in the town we lived in were the salad bar and the dessert table. We went there for just the dessert table on occasion - this being one of them.

Then off we went to the coaster.

Shingletown is about 45 miles out of the way of everything heading into the mountains. On the way, if you know which way to go, there is a series of hills upon which taken at the right speeds coming down (Which would be fast - ok, very fast) you can turn a car into a hovercraft.

Tara and I discovered this one day by chance on our way back from fishing. Oh happy day!

On occasion we go just for the ride.

Comfortable silence amidst a blaring stereo... I sit back in my seat while she drives and I light us each a smoke and I think....

Tara is good like that. My husband, Dave? He's an 6'7" asshole. After being married for 5 years people should know each other better - or at least have learned to try to get along. Nope. The world bends at his feet and if he doesn't like the way something is he goes around it - and sometimes through it.... He has no consideration for anyone but himself, and the only person that matters to him is the prick he admires in the mirror.

He tells me that I can't do certain things. I'm not "allowed". I can only see those who he approves of - or I get guilt shoveled on me and am verbally condemned for being whatever his opinion is of them - bitch, trash, whore, whatever. Sometimes it's easier to let him have his way. He tried several times to keep me away from Ra... she hates him too. She's seen what he is and she's been the only person holding my hand through..... She's brought me back. She makes me smile. She cares if I do. He can fuck off. She's not going anywhere.

So, it's easier for me to avoid him and just stay away from my house when he's in it. I don't tell him what I do with my time and I don't bother asking what he does with his.

I light another cigarette off of the first and remind myself that I need to quit someday....

As we fly down those hills and we feel the tires leave the ground, we laugh at nothing except our weightless freedom and friendship.

*****

Going on 14 years now, Tara is still my best girlfriend. There were so many memories, I actually had to call her to get her help picking through them. She suggested the yoga story .... I laughed and told her I would like to sum up our friendship to my readers with more than a pair of stoned yogi breaking wind.

I guess that's the Zen of our friendship though. ^_~