Resigned

So it finally happened. I ended up in the hospital today. I burst into tears, called my doctor and she told me to go to labor and delivery immediately. I had to have someone at work drive me around 11am.

Dehydration, Ketones from not eating enough, and not getting enough rest.

This is the third time in the last week, but it was the worst so far.

Incredible dizziness, blurred vision, feeling faint, nauseous, and altered hearing and perception.

The nurse said a few things that really hit me hard today....

"You should be enjoying this pregnancy, not killing yourself."

"If you keep doing this to yourself and your baby, she WILL be born prematurely. Not might, WILL."

At that point I just started sobbing.

They made me eat and drink a lot of water, and then they released me. My boss came and picked me up and I talked to him about cutting back my hours.... at least until Duane comes home. I don't have a choice anymore if I want to take care of my baby. I still don't feel like he heard me, even though he agreed it would be best for me and the baby.

I have to make this work. It won't be comfortable financially, but I can make it work.

I know it wasn't her intention, but I feel like such a terrible mother after the nurse said those things. In placing myself last in everything I have placed Kindle last as well. She deserves better than that. I can say I've tried, but obviously not hard enough.