Kindle Update

This morning I had a doctors appointment for our little Kindle. She is getting big. I have gained 3 more pounds (for a total of 11 pounds at the beginning of 25 weeks). I am surprised that it was only 3.... about 2 weeks ago I had a hunger spike. I have felt like I've done nothing but eat and it definitely was beginning to become noticeable in the general bump area.

I am also already producing milk. Looks like my body is getting a head start - apparently it remembers that it has done this before.

Kindle's heartbeat is strong, and just like her sister did, she made it very clear that she did not like to be touched by the doppler. She moved and kicked it each time it got close to a count.

Measuring well, blood work is okay. Not a lot of sciatica or morning sickness. I have to go in for a glucose screening in the next 3 weeks.

Oh happy day.

Drink a bottle of syrup and then sit still for an hour.

I have a scheduled induction date so that Duane can pass it on to his CO and come home for the birth. My doctor was nice enough to bump it up a little bit just to make sure there was adequate time for him to get home.


She also told me that I need to "take it easy". She wrote orders for me to cut my work week back to 36 hours. She wanted to cut it back to 30.... I couldn't do that. I can't afford to lose my job.

(Here is where I try not to get frustrated....)

HOW exactly do I "take it easy"? I work - to pay bills. I take care of Aidynn - who is ALMOST walking now and completely suffering from separation anxiety. I take care of the house - laundry, dishes, etc. I take care of Kindle - I make myself eat and sleep, drink a lot of water, and try not to over do it.

What makes me sad is that apparently I am not doing my job well enough at taking care of Kindle, and I don't see how I can do any better right now. I already slack in the household duties MUCH more than I like. I started having braxton-hicks contractions and they usually only come on after I have been "go go go"-ing for a while. The doctor told me that my body is telling me to slow down. But I can't.

I am so frustrated not because I need to do it all, but that I can't. Yet, I don't have a choice. Duane feels bad that he isn't here to help me, and in turn, I feel terrible that I am having such a hard time handling things on my own and it puts added stress on him! He has enough on his plate.

*sigh*

A few people have pointed out that I look tired. Although, they seem genuinely concerned, and just want to make sure that I am alright, how am I supposed to react to that? "Yeah, I can't handle my life right now and I am constantly juggling between responsibilities but thank you for pointing out that it shows and I look like crap on top of it."

I just keep telling myself... "Do what you can when you can and settle for good enough. This is only temporary."

Hopefully that will be enough, for now, but I definitely know that I need to take care of my babies first.