How Are You Doing?

I am sad. I feel heartbroken. At the same time I feel emotionally drained. But I know I will be ok.

Duane left last night for basic training. I dropped him off at 9:30 pm at the Raddison in Sacramento. His flight left this morning at 4:15 am to Dallas, from there he flew to Atlanta, from there he is going to South Carolina to reception.

He has called at each stop to tell me he loves me, and misses me, and to have me give Aidynn kisses for him.

I really miss him. More than I have ever missed anyone.

He was able to stay home four days longer than we had expected. I am very grateful for that. We talked about him not going, but ultimately I left the decision up to him. I agreed with his decision to go - this is what is the most beneficial for our family.

I am so proud of him. When we first began dating he was resigned to outside influences leading him and people who never had his best interests at heart. He had given up on himself thanks to people who, for the best, are now excluded from his life almost entirely. Now... to know what he is doing for not only himself, but for his babies and I.... that really says something about how much he loves us. Now he has so much passion for life. It has been amazing to see what our love has done for not only him - but me too! I have been able to put so many things into perspective. He has given me everything - including my precious babies.

He enlisted in the Army for us, for our family. So that he could provide more for us and find final resolution to the one problem still haunting him from the past, not for himself, but for Aidynn, the baby, and I. How could I ever not see how much he loves me and our babies?

We got married on January 4, as you know if you read my blogs. We had discussed getting married sooner, later, waiting, not waiting, small wedding, big wedding, etc, etc... but when we were talking one evening, I think it was Jan 2, we were sitting on the couch relaxing, he just randomly said, "I want to get married.". He said he didn't want to wait, he wanted to be married before he left, but he left the decision up to me. The way he said it.... was like he couldn't wait anymore. I agreed with him and I couldn't be happier about that decision. Even my last name was changed within the day we were married.

So. It's the beginning of a long 6 months for his basic training and technical school. Aidynn and I should be able to visit him after basic... sometime around 3 months. I don't know when it will be, but I am looking forward to it already.

And it's only been one day... *sigh*

I am so freaking bored it's hard to keep my mind off of him. If anyone has any idea what a (temporary) SAHM is supposed to do with all of the extra time please let me know! I'm tempted to haul out the scrapbooking boxes! I love the time I get to spend with my daughter, but she naps 3-4 times a day and sometimes she doesn't want to share her toys with me anymore.

On a side note...
Duane didn't share with everyone that he scored 98 on his ASVAB. The highest possible score is 99. I am very proud of him for that. He is such an intelligent man. All I can say is that our kids are going to be brilliant. He chose Psy-Ops as his MOS (it's so hard to explain all of the military stuff without acronyms!)

I know he is going to do so well.

I am so proud of my husband. I love him so much.