Mommy Thoughts

Every now and then I like to read past blogs that I have written. It helps me gain perspective on some things in my life, and they help me to remember... the entire reason I love writing.

Each individual writing is a message written to me, by me, from the past. I can read through and feel the emotions I was having hidden behind the words.

My friend Kristy just had a beautiful baby girl. Miss Emersyn Quinn was born on 9/11/07 weighing in at 7 lbs 6.2 oz. (Congrats!) I have been thinking about them a lot over the last few days, and also thinking about how not so long ago my sweet Miss Aidynn Grace was brand new to the world. I read the blog this morning. I hadn't read in a while. There is a sentimentality to it that is so precious to me - it's the story of my daughter's birth. Behind those words lies all of the emotion I felt as a woman about to have her first child unknowing of what to expect, the excitement and pain of the process of childbirth, and the overwhelming joy at finally holding this LIFE that I created in my arms at last.

These last 3 months have been an emotional roller coaster. There have been ups and downs, laughter and tears, frustration and joy, along with so many other emotions they all seem to blur together sometimes.

Having my daughter has been one of the best experiences of my life. Every moment that I am away from her I think about her. Every moment I am with her I adore her. For a first in my life, I don't know what to think of time. I cherish the beautiful baby that she is today, look forward with excitement to the little girl she will be tomorrow, and look back in longing for the newborn she was yesterday. I am content with just being with her now - in the precious moments that I have with her as she grows before my eyes. Every day she becomes more and more beautiful to me. I look at her and I am torn between my excitement for the day when Duane and I have another, and the fear of not being able to dedicate everything I have to only her.

Time seems to be flying by far too quickly... and at the same time not fast enough....