My Choice

Duane went to a friends house today, and I miss him (even though he's only been gone 3 hours!), but I have spent a lot of the last few hours pondering something. I think I finally figured something out about myself.

When our daughter is born, it will be our job to teach her things. Ways to handle problematic situations and people is something we feel she needs to learn. There has been one or two annoyances in the last year that had me thinking about this, and I think I need to change my behavior when it comes to certain situations. I let things that ignorant people said and/or did effect me and my happiness (if even for a short while) - I know that what they said and/or did, didn't matter at any time, but I still allowed that garbage to enter and consume a larger part of my thinking and feeling than it should have.

I have thought some things that didn't look too good on my karmic record, and manipulated some situations just to cause a problem or two for another person for revenge. It's not in any way a justifiable excuse - but I'll chalk it up to learning to take care of myself first when I was younger. At one point revenge, anger, and manipulation were heavily used weapons in my arsenal.

So what I think I need to work on - for my sake and my daughters - is to brush things off. Not everyone can agree on everything. Some people (usually unhappy and selfish people) live to try to cause problems for others. But in the end, only the choices that I make can really effect me. There is the choice to give another the power to influence my behavior, and there is the choice to see the situation for what it really is and pass it by.

Listen, Think, Decide, Move on.

Duane is very good at not giving problem-people any attention, and not allowing them to affect his happiness. I admire that about him. I think in a way he helped me to realize what I should do.

I know that when children want attention so badly, sometimes they will act out with negative behaviors for negative attention - any attention to them is better than no attention. Unfortunately some adults are this way as well.

The best way to deal with the child usually, is to ignore the negative and accentuate and praise anything positive they do. Perhaps the same could be said for the adults who behave the same way.