First Appointment

So, I had my first doctors appointment today.  It took way too long (that's 5 magazines in waiting room time - not counting lunch) and answered none of my major concerns. But hey, I got felt up by a strange new woman with cold hands - always a favorite past-time, so I  can't say the day was a complete waste.

We couldn't find the heartbeat with doppler (I don't know who to blame for the kid being difficult so early on), and I'm measuring about 11-13 weeks (I should be 14-15).  She sent me for some bloodwork for my beta (hooray for needles), and I have an ultrasound on Monday. Soonest I will find anything out is tomorrow afternoon - maybe. They might have my HCG numbers in. If not - Monday it is.

I just want to see... or hear a heartbeat, and know everything is ok. There are just too many odds stacked against me on this one and I feel pretty powerless. FYI: That's really hard for a neurotic control-freak.

In the meantime I will continue to worry.
I've never been more paranoid in all of my life.