Thanksgiving Reminders

In my 30 years of this life, I have come to realize that there is nothing like a little time spent with my family to help me regain some perspective in my own life.

I'll admit it, I've gradually let myself forget to acknowledge the positive over the last few months. I haven't taken the time to be truly grateful, but I have more than once allowed myself to drift in hopelessness. This Thanksgiving is appropriately named, as I am truly thankful for the reminders I got this weekend of how sometimes things can be rough, but overall my life is beautiful.

My friend Tara put it this way as we were sitting on my grandparents sofa in the family room: "People watching at your family gatherings is definitely entertaining." I just laughed and agreed with her.

Examples of the entertainment?

Grandma is in the kitchen having a conniption over Uncle who did something with a turkey bone meant for his dog. Brother 4 is comforting his quarantined 3 year old daughter who will later in the evening have an overdue hospital visit after a verbal berating by nearly everyone asking why she has not already been with her symptoms. Hubs is having silent panic attacks as he guards over his daughters and their sippy cups in attempt to ward off contamination from other children who are in less than perfect health. Brother 2 and his wife have an uncomfortable silence between them that seems louder than all the chaos in the house combined. Nephew who at 25 months old is frustrating nearly everyone because he lacks the ability to comprehend not to touch things that aren't meant for him - to me, he is very obviously autistic and my heart breaks for him because he is not in a family that can provide him what he needs. My heart breaks for his father, my Brother 3, because he doesn't know what to do for his son and he is subjected to the ignorance of everyone around him saying constantly, "There is something wrong with him." and "He doesn't even hear anyone." and other comments of helplessness. The mother, Brother 3's girlfriend and a compulsive liar amongst other attention seeking behaviors, has declined to show for the dinner claiming she was diagnosed within 5 hours with H1N1 yet no signs or symptoms of even having the flu - and no one is disappointed. Brother 1 is loud, as usual, but his significant other is so silent you would hardly know he is there.

I sit on the sofa with my long time beloved friend and watch the commotion, happy to see my girls so excited to play with their cousins, watching Kindle just suck up the attention and doting, and happier to be around my family and their original craziness. Everyone there has their personal chaos and issues, but all that matters in that moment is that we are together and we love each other.

It really made me take a moment and think of the issues Hubs and I have been dealing with for the last few months, how I have handled them, how I have felt unable to escape the imminence of worry, stress, and frustration... and behind all of it I saw happiness. OUR happiness and how it's still here, I've just been too busy avoiding it to appreciate it.

I saw Big Sis' amazing intelligence and personality. I thought of how she knows her numbers, letters, colors, and shapes. She always says please and thank you, bless you and excuse me. Her green eyes sparkle when she sings, or when you sing with her, and she is so grateful for everything she has and everything you do for her, yet is the most independent little girl I've ever known.

I saw Little Sis' beautiful smiles. Her fat little legs running across the lawn and big blue eyes. Her hugs and the way she rests her head on your shoulder with a sigh and her irresistible charisma. At 14 months she has a vocabulary of at least 50 words with gestures and she will be silent in unfamiliar environments but talk to me and Hubs when she thinks no one else is listening. She is such a sweet child.

Then there's Hubs. I don't believe it was coincidence that in the 2 1/2 hour drive we laughed as much as we did. We really are good for each other, even if we both get lost in ourselves sometimes. We love each other, and we love our babies.

So when we got home, we fell right back into our routines. Baths and pajamas for the girls, followed by snuggles and books - including a new special dinosaur book just for Big Sis. Kisses and love yous good night for 2 tired girls.

Then some very much needed cuddles on the couch with Hubs, enjoying a slice of cherry pie a la mode and watching the television shows we missed over our trip. Smiling and laughing at the kicks of our unborn son.

And I can't help but sit there and think, in the middle of it all, how beautiful my life is and how blessed I am. I wouldn't trade it for any other.

I am THANKFUL!

I hope you all have your own reminders this holiday.

XoXoX